SOMETIMES I DON’T COMB MY HAIR - 5 Tips to Move Your Toward Your Dreams

SOMETIMES I DON’T COMB MY HAIR

by Brenda A. White

Sometimes I’m home all day and I don’t comb my hair, but I’m still beautiful. :-)  Besides, the focus for the day was staying home and writing, not glamour.  My point is, get so focused on something that small distractions in that moment don't matter. I encourage you to believe in your long term goal. Believe that through every obstacle, the overall result will be worth your while. Everything counts... everything can add up to the little successes. Whether it takes a week, a month, a year, keep at it.  I believe you have what it takes!

I didn’t just wake up one morning with three books written. I didn’t just wake up and become a great facilitator and leader who gets results. I didn’t just wake up one morning and complete a half marathon and a full marathon. I planned for it, I worked for it, and I never gave up. Although the thoughts and desires of every accomplishment may have come earlier, the actual work took time. Years before I became a regional technology trainer at a Fortune 500 company, I trained junior high students while in college, for free. I hopped out of bed early to get the long walks/runs in preparation for the 13.1 miles and later the 26.2 miles. Years before a published book was in the readers’ hands, I spent hours each night and most weekends, while working fulltime and fulfilling other obligations, and writing until it was done. I educated myself on each of these things so I could get it right as best I could. I was passionate about it. I was focused on it.

Be careful about assuming someone became a success overnight. We didn’t. Again, believe in your long term goal. Believe that the overall result will be worth your while. Everything counts... everything can add to the little successes. Whether it takes a week, a month, a year, keep at it.  You have what it takes.

Nelson Mandela said, “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”  So, my prayer is that you will make the choice to reflect on your hopes, build your dreams, develop a plan, and make things happen.

So, here are five tips to get you going:

▲   Write your desires and dreams on paper, and then put it where you can see it daily.

▲   Make a plan (set goals) with a reasonable timeline to tackle each one.

▲  Make the sacrifice, give up something to focus more attention, time, money on that thing.

▲   There will be obstacles, so maintain a positive outlook no matter what. You have to be persistence and consistent ... do it for a year and look back to see if it’s serving you well or not.

▲   Watch your dream become a reality and let that positive person in your life know so they can shout with you! And if you let me know, I will shout, too!

So, do the work, people are cheering for you, and don’t worry about your hair.

That’s why I don’t comb my hair, sometimes. :-)

YOU’RE IN CORPORATE AMERICA, YOU MAY AS WELL PERFORM WELL

by Brenda A. White

Your personal success begins with you. You will encounter successes, challenges, and opportunities in the process, but the success of your life ultimately begins and ends with you.

Why did your organization hire you? What have you done lately to bring value? What have you done that is remarkable? Do you know what’s expected of you? Knowing the answers to these questions at any given moment could potentially keep you ready for increase, promotion, or maybe a great performance review. Let me throw in this little disclaimer: please understand an organization’s obligation is to pay you for the work you did the previous two weeks. Although they might give merit increases, profit sharing, bonuses, and equity, you might not be in line to get any of them even with excellent performance. It could depend on a number of things. Maybe I’ll cover that in another post at a later date.

Here are 15 things that have been successful for me and kept me focused in my career:

1.              Know the expectations, know the goals, know the results. Just stay in the know.

2.            Be intentional – seek to understand the business, even the business outside of your      department. Meet new people, the power of relationships is magical.

3.           Reach out to help someone else - Serve those around you – Be generous with your resources, don’t always be the one asking for help, provide it also. Figure out how to serve and help other people. You might establish your brand as the expert on a particular revenue generating task.

4.             Know your gifts and talents – Don’t make your degrees your only shoe in. What makes you amazing? Because you really are amazing. Know what that is. If you can’t figure it out, ask a trusted person what they think it is. Remember, you are amazing.

5.             Become comfortable with your presentation skills. Tell your own story, always. Sell yourself. Always have the latest successful thing you did on the front of the brain. When a manager asks you, what have you been up to? Or how’s it going? Please have more to say than “I’m just keeping busy.” You bring so much more than that! Also, work on the presentation skills of speaking in front of a group of people.

6.             Manage your emotions – your emotional intelligence, stay positive, have a pleasing personality, demonstrate grace under pressure, defuse conflict, find ways to relieve stress. You’ll experience healthier relationships. If you need coffee before you get started, get it before you get to the office. If you still come across difficult people, figure out a way around them, but don’t step on them.

7.             Seek knowledge, education, and information, and use wisdom to apply it.

8.             Read or listen to at least one great book per month. Create your own library physically and electronically. If you don’t have that “miscellaneous books” line item in your budget, check them out from your local library. Some libraries will allow you to download (borrow) books for free on your phone or tablet.

9.             Subscribe and listen to informational on-demand radio programs in your area of interest – podcasts, magazines, and blogs. Create an email address specifically for this type stuff, since most subscriptions require one. I use YouTube, iTunes, Flipboard to listen to and read areas I want to learn more information.

10.         Attend at least one seminar per year. Ask your company to budget for it.  (Even if your company doesn’t pay for it, invest in yourself) and go with the intent to learn at least one great idea to implement. Try to make at least one connection to stay in touch once or twice a year, even if it’s sharing information, like an article that you read and you think they’d find in interesting. Meeting too many people at a conference and not making genuine connections will stress you out and you probably won’t keep in touch anyway. Oh, but when you do make the right connections, it’s indeed magical.

11.         Take at least two courses in your areas of interest. – Information improves and changes fast. So explore ones that can give you skills that you need. You can find some for free. Sometimes free or low cost like www.Udemy.com, www.creativelive.com, or others.  

12.          Stay in good health and good appearance. Success is not just about making money.

13.          Use your vacation days to rejuvenate, recharge. Every vacation day doesn’t have to be actually going somewhere or doing something. Mental health days are important.

14.         Get a mentor. Mentors can help guide you on your journey. I prefer genuine mentor/mentee relationships, but some organizations have programs where they will assign mentors. If you have not found one or assigned one, ask for one or seek your own. Remember, this is your career; you should ultimately make all decisions regarding your career, based on what you hear/gain from others. Note: Your manager is not your mentor.

15.         If your current organization is not working for you, find one that does. You have a whole world out there to explore. There’s no sense in wasting their time and yours.

What steps will you take to perform better this year?

7 THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT WRITING A BOOK

by Brenda A. White

I started writing as a hobby during my teen years. I became more serious in 2000 and I published my first novel in March 2010 and man oh man, have I learned a lot about writing since then and I’m still learning. With a high school diploma, two degrees, and a boatload of experience under my belt, I thought this journey would be fairly easy. It’s not! Even with a passion for writing, it's not! It requires a lot of additional learning and focus. Thank God I'm a life-long learner, because I love this stuff!

At every book signing or speaking event, people ask for advice on how to start writing. There are many ways to get started, but here are seven things that I've learned and will hopefully get you started:

1.   Read. Watch movies. Read a lot, books in your genre, books outside of your genre.

2.   Take writing classes/workshops so you can learn with and from other people, but do not copy another author’s work.

3.   Invest in your craft. Get a Writing Coach.

4.   Determine your own style to write and flow with it. Just write, don’t edit while you’re writing, you’ll waste too much time. Throw all the words on the page while your thoughts are fresh. You can go back and fix it later. I’m still learning this…

5.   Give your editor the best draft possible. Editors are human and they can miss things, too. So you need to go through at least four drafts before they get it, including one where you read it out loud.

6.   Understand that there are different levels to this professional editing thing (Copy, Content, Proofreading) Make sure you understand what comes with the quoted price from an editor.

7.   Typesetting is tedious. Pay someone else to do it. I’ve moved on to the next book while the typesetting process is happening.

There’s so much more to publishing and so many options out there... Self-publishing, vanity publishing, Amazon, ISBN #s, Barcodes, cover design, marketing, etc.

Where are you in your writing journey? Drop a note below and let me know.

7 Pearls to Manage Your Personal Brand

7 Pearls to Manage Your Personal Brand

Published in The Church Without Walls Mosaic Women's Maglendar 2016 

by Brenda A. White

Heyyy! How you doin’?  I have a question for you. Are you who God called you to be or are you who you’ve learned to be? Each of us has a unique value, a God-given talent, and identity; that thing that we have and the way we do it like no one else. Just like going to one of the popular painting parties, everyone is charged with painting the same picture but in the end, not one is the same. Psalms 139:13-14 says For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Yep! You are just that good! You have to believe that.  Who you are at your core is how God designed you. You need to understand what that is for you and you need to be clear about it. For example, in my office I’m known as a coach, motivator, creative individual, a good listener, a leader who will ask all the right questions to get you to your answer, and one who influences results. I make adjustments in my behavior and style depending on my audience to get the most out of the situation. I never planned to be that person. I am just that person at my core.  I can’t help it. I find it easier to be authentic because I’d forget to be anything different. Among my family and friends, I’m many different things but still some of the same things I am at work… the coach, the motivator, the listener. I’m known to shop for a good, comfortable pair of stilettos; I enjoy sports and the company of books, bags, and journals. I’m also known by a few leading statements, “I was thinking…” and “You should…” which often leads to widened eyes and I guess, heart palpitations because they know a challenge toward their dream is coming.

Personal branding has a long tail with lots of information and studies on the market; I am exploring just a small portion from my personal experiences. I want to help you get moving and understand your personal brand, understand what people experience when they interact with you, because building effective and productive relationships with others is essential in managing your personal brand. Getting quality feedback is extremely important, so ask someone whom you trust, who knows you well, and will tell you the absolute truth while ensuring they do not dictate who you should be, but rather how they experience you. How do you want to impact those around you? Take a moment and think about these things: What are your strengths? What are your abilities? What are you good at? What are you passionate about? What do you desire? What drives you? What motivates you? What are your relationships like with your family, friends, and colleagues? How do you show up physically and mentally at work, play, church, and school? How effective are you when you show up that way? Do you have a mentor? Do you have a sponsor, that person who’s at the table and champions decisions on your behalf? Lastly, what area of the market (career, church, and community) needs you?

Understanding the answers to these questions is paramount and will get you on your way to understanding how God designed you into the goodness that you are. I assure you it will bring you more joy, happiness, and success than you could ever imagine.

My prayer is that you, a Mosaic Woman will:

1.   Be uniquely you, authentic -- God designed you just the way He wanted you.

2.   Know your value-add, leverage your strengths, learn more about yourself, ask for quality feedback, and act on it.

3.   Know your passion and your purpose – why you’re here and who you’re serving.

4.   Step up to stand out in personal appearance, written and verbal communication, and tell your own story.

5.   Offer a strong first experience – be genuine, be intentional, listen emphatically.

6.   Pray and ask God to show you who you are and what He wants to do in your life.

7.   Document your plan of action and execute it well.

Again, I ask, are you who God called you to be or are you who you’ve learned to be?

Let’s talk about it…